The Important Things In Life
by haveyouseenmyhaggis
Summary: Owen is stuck in a traffic jam and all he has to do is think about the important things in life... Like Barbie and Ken. And how much he hates Ken. Could be classed as Owen fluff. Enjoy.


**Title: The Important Things In Life**

**Summary: When stuck in a traffic jam, Owen is left to think about the important things in his life…like Barbie and Ken and how much he hates them. Use of bad language.**

**Author's Note: Please skip reading this note if you want; all I'm away to tell you is how this story came about. Well, it was 2:50am when I wrote this story. I had started it in a traffic jam the other day out of sheer boredom. But don't you just hate it when you can't sleep? I tried everything from reading, listening to a Torchwood talking book (but there is no way you can sleep through Torchwood. And Owen had lines that made me laugh. So, that plan failed miserably) and even hanging upside down from my bed…because I was bored. In the end I sat on the windowsill and watched the sun rising over the hills and listened to the sounds of the outdoors after writing the following story. To Soapy, for her birthday.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood, Hyundai, Nissan, Range Rover, BMW, Barbie or Ken.**

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Traffic jams, in Owen's opinion, had to be one of the most frustratingly boring things in the world. He'd been stuck behind the same blue Hyundai for the last ten minutes without moving and he was beginning to get irritated. He didn't even know what had caused the blockage.

He looked at the big, green Range Rover in the lane to his right and saw a large, burly man smoking a cigarette with his arm resting on the open window.

Exasperation was really setting in then. Owen bit his lip to try and hold back the cantankerous snarl that was working its way up his throat. He shut his eyes and leant his head back against the seat and imagined he was somewhere else; maybe a sunny Caribbean beach with a couple of scantily clad, tanned girls in bikinis playing with a beach ball. When he opened his eyes he saw he was grinning in the mirror before remembering where he was and frowning. He cursed and tried to keep calm; surely this would all be over soon and he could go home? He hoped so.

He let out a small growl as the stuck up looking man in the BMW blasted the car horn at him. Stupid bastard. Could he not see that Owen had nowhere to go?

Then the rain came on. The young Torchwood doctor sighed. He was constantly hearing on the news about how the planet was heating up and yet it _still _managed to rain in Cardiff. He laughed slightly as the man in the Range Rover scowled in disgust and dropped his cigarette on the road and tried to wind up the window before he got soaked. When he'd done that he brushed at the raindrops on the steering wheel with a cloth looking revolted. Bloody stuck up git in a gas-guzzler destroying the environment. Just how much carbon dioxide where they polluting the world with being stuck in this jam?

Then, very slowly, the queue began to move forward at less than a snail's pace. They'd only moved a couple of centimetres when they stopped dead again. Dammit, Owen cursed. The lane beside him seemed to have moved on quicker than his because when he looked right again he saw the green Range Rover had been replaced by a pair of blonde girls in a pink Nissan Micra. The girl in the passenger seat turned to Owen and gave him a pout before blowing a kiss and waving a dainty hand with pink painted nails to match her car. Then she turned to her friend and giggled.

Owen rolled his eyes. The word "Barbie" sprang to mind; completely plastic; all blonde hair; surgically plumped lips; blemish free skin; frighteningly white teeth; perfect body with an ass to die for according to the magazines. But Barbie was a bimbo bitch in Owen's opinion. She was too scarily perfect to be normal.

And if the girl in the car beside him was Barbie, Owen was certainly _not _being her Ken because for _every _Barbie there was a Ken. What with the equally white teeth; cheesy cheerful grin, abs that had the horrifying "Photo-shopped" look; perfectly toned muscles and hair that would _never _fall out of place he was just as bad as Barbie. What a shame Ken seemed to think with his ar-

"SEE THAT GREEN LIGHT? THAT MEANS DRIVE YOU IDIOT!" came a man's yell from the man in the BMW. Idiot. Didn't he understand that in order for Owen to move forward, the fifty something cars in front would have to move first? What was it with people being self-righteous and cocky in traffic jams?

Owen saw a man in a brown leather jacket and blue shorts with gold trimming send a wink at the two Barbie girls in the Micra. Owen rolled his eyes in exasperation.

At least Owen didn't have to deal with crazed fans stalking his every movement. He would even swear he saw a website where people wrote their own stories about Barbie and Ken… Saddos. Owen was quite pleased that random people from all over the globe were putting Ken in uncomfortable and often compromising situations just to release all their bizarre feelings that came with hormones screwing up their teenage (and often adult) minds.

Owen shuddered to think what people would come up with if he and the rest of Torchwood featured in a TV Show like Barbie did…Hell, the fans would have him in bed with the tea-boy or something before he know it – and that just didn't bare thinking about.

Owen shook his head to rid himself of that thought. He scowled and looked out of the windscreen at the rain battering off everything in sight. There was no sign he'd be going anywhere quickly at this rate.

At least in a traffic jam he had time to think over things that were important in life, he tried to compensate himself before crawling forwards with the car again. Funny what you end up thinking about when you're bored, he thought with a smile.


End file.
